“It’s good to have a sixth gear, but watch out for the seventh one. If you think too well outside the box, you might find yourself in a little room without much in it.” – Mark Vonnegut from “Just Like Someone Without Mental Illness Only More So.”
Like Mark Vonnegut in his wonderful book (***1/2) I have awful handwriting and am bipolar.
I even spent a few days at Shepard Pratt hospital near Baltimore, MD in late 1997 after finishing Rutgers.
I have been stable for a long, long time, since actually getting my MBA in September 2001 and then having some misadventures in Europe in August of 2001 that I wrote about in my NanoWrimo book “No Filter: A Travelogue of Madness.”
Having Lanna around definitely helps, being more patient helps, being calmer, mediatating, music …
Sometimes though I wonder if I fear mania. I fear being out of control. Fear going out of 1st, 2nd or 3rd gear. Fear the joy that can come with hypermania, and the loss of control that can also come.
I have a friend who is a fellow bipolar who has also had some time in a mental hospital of a breakdown that happened senior year of college, and he completely identified with this quote. And I do admit to sometimes even seeing this box people talk about.
But, I am doing ok and being stable. If probably depressed with my dad’s illness.
If you are interested Mark Vonnegut’s book is fascinating memoir about madness and medicine (he is a pediatrician). And yes managed care, insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies and lawyers are part of our national health care disaster.
Good stuff. I hope I continue to stay stable.