Have a had a rollercoaster of a time since my dad passed away on April 1.
A new poetry book, a wave of creative energy, full blast of mania.
Hospitalization, lithium, crash.
It’s been a heck of a ride.
Finally drove for the first time in a month today.
Glad that lithium crashed my mania hard, but wondering if 1200mg is too much, going to ask doctor about it on Tuesday.
Really wish I took short term disability at work. When it doubt say yes. We are making it through barely. Not appreciating Sallie Mae at all. When the country decided to make loans over grants for student aid it created a massive and frankly very mean organization. I really wish I could have ended it via bankruptcy. Madness in August, 2001 took a lot out of me. It took me a long time to get over. I ended up in London unmedicated, after leaving the Oxford Trade Program, never was medicated. The twin towers came down while I was depressed but still in a mixed state. I am only a month after mania cresting again hard and doing mostly really well.
I don’t think this one will take four years to get over, for that I am thankful. The last mania did I had to write a book during NaNoWrimo “No Filter: A Travelogue of Madness” to get over it that I wrote in November, 2005, many years later. Felt guilt about it for so long. Kept thinking in the past.
This time, my dad’s funeral is on Saturday. Sadness still comes in waves. I have been sleeping a lot since out of the hospital on April 26th. So thankful for my cats Lenny and Squiggy being near me. I learned more in that fortnight then almost any time I can remember in my life. Even got to experience how bizarre prison was for 3 days mostly in isolation.
And very happy to be going off to the Berkshires with my pagan community, Earthspirit for Rites of Spring. It has been a wonderful time for green, grounding and friendship since I have known my wife in 2003.
A lot to do until then. Glad I have been able to get some support from family, friends and most especially Lanna.
Think it may still be a while before I blog every day but it’s been a rich six weeks. Hoping the rest of this week is mostly good, the funeral will be tough.
Hoping Rites of Spring brings green and balance, I think I may need to meditate again this year.
Peace be with you. Don’t forget to tell your beloveds you love them.