I dreamed I was my father this evening during a nap.
I felt his frustrations, I felt his annoyance.
He really wants to be able to get out of bed and live his normal life.
I would too.
And it’s frustrating for all involved.
Found out today that his death doesn’t seem imminent right now although it’s still likely in the next month.
I think having us here helped him.
I have been feeling idle. I am not home and out of my routine.
I still enjoy good beer, food and spirits but very off.
It’s hard to see my dad this way.
So looking like we are going back to Maine this weekend, although part of my heart will still be here.
It’s all too soon. Only 11 months or so after my wife’s dad Walter died. And my dad is only 66. He’s not really that old. And was in excellent health before the brain cancer 4 1/2 years ago.
It’s both a blessing and a curse to be 400 miles away. If I lived in say central NJ like I used to, I could visit on days off or even in the evening.
But as an all day trip I have to schedule it out.
It’s been good to be here for a week or so. And I think it’s improved my dad’s spirits. But I need to live my life too and that life is in Maine.
Blessing to all and thank you for your support.