Today was an odd day. A tough day.
Yesterday we found out bad news, my father in law Walter Maheux was given a diagnosis from his cancer biopsy, small cell cancer, as well as his congestive heart failure, and heart valve replacement about 6 1/2 years ago. The doctors said his life expectancy was about 2 months.
I work in a call center and when I found out yesterday on my break, I took one call and was almost crying during it and then went to the hospital.
Today I made it through a full shift. I didn’t think I would around 11am thinking about everything and being emotionally, spiritually and psychically exhausted. But, something got me through the day, goofiness.
I was more jokey, and silly than almost ever, yet still on my breaks listening to beautiful, often Christian or Christmas music and fighting back the tears. There was a duality, laughter and tears are sometimes that that far apart.
One of the songs I found affirming was a choral version of “Amen” by the Oxford St. Peter’s Choir. This is a gospel version by the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. The St. Peter’s version was much more traditional, has an evensong quality, both are beautiful.
Meanwhile in the call center my mind was more just pure goofy, more “Weird Ed” than spiritual Ed. And “Coming to Take Me Away” by Napolean XIV was much more my mood.
And it’s amazing how easy it can be to laugh during tragedy. We have less defenses, and we need to laugh even more. Both can even cause tears. Both bring us closer together.
And I really appreciate all the love coming to my family. Thank you.