Showers are awesome.
Especially hot with a cold finish.
Today, I was lazy enough to not have one.
Sometimes when I camp I go every other day but showers are something that just makes life better.
And a luxury we are used to.
Hooray for showers!
I only heard in passing this morning about the terrible shooting of 50 people having a good time in Orlando yesterday at a gay bar.
I can only take so much.
It’s becoming so normal to have a shooting somewhere.
For people to snap.
We are all taught to fear each other from an early age now. “Stranger Danger”. Kids aren’t running around town. Instead of the police being there to help you in need, you fear them giving you a ticket. Even if you really aren’t doing anything wrong.
Instead of getting to know our neighbors we close our doors.
Instead of kids running around the neighborhood and like in many culture knowing they can ask someone for help and often get it, children are taught to fear.
We lock our doors. We fear going for medical attention even if we have insurance. Worried about the bill.
We fear the calls on the phone. Whether we can’t afford student loans, medical expenses, credit cards, payday loans or anything else. And there are debt predators everywhere trying to make a buck. It’s terrible.
We are in a nation of greed where money is worshipped. And an absolute shyster becomes a major party’s nominee for President.
Where we fear the other. Other religions, other races, our nations, even our neighbors. There is often suspicion.
I really can’t deal with it. After work I did look at Facebook briefly and I did look at a New York Times summary of events. I Googled “Orlando shooting.”
It’s being called the worst shooting in American history. That’s not true. It’s not a major war, it’s not bombings, drone strikes, Civil Wars, trench warfare.
It’s not Antietam, Petersburg, France, the Battle of the Bulge, the Indian Wars, the Trail of Tears. It’s extremely sad.
It’s someone who felt hate and had an assault weapon shooting up people looking to have a good time. It’s something that makes us very afraid.
It’s becoming all too normal.
As for me I have been playing games. Mainly against myself, although there was some Hearthstone online. Magic: The Gathering (Landfall R/G, Naya W/R/G, and Goblins Red), Splendor. If I lived in Portland, I might be at a place like Arcadia right now. I would so much rather be making decisions and cards and chits then thinking about tragedy.
Be kind to yourself, turn off the news if you need to, watch a favorite movie, go for a walk, pet the dog, pet the cat, take a nap.
I wish it would say it isn’t going to happen again but it probably is.
I just think we need to learn to love each other again. Stop the insane security state, stop American Empire. Realize no one needs AR-15s, and that includes the military. So many people have been terrorized with similar weapons like AK-47s around the world.
We all just want to fart around. To eat, to laugh, to have a home, find work, get by. It shouldn’t be this difficult.
Fun to see everyone know every one.
I wish I had better roots in Connecticut and knew more people.
Although I wish it could be louder, hopefully better with George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic. It was quite a bit louder, although comfortable. I don’t like it when bands are way too loud for the venue.
Lots of people and only paying for parking and food.
I love any outdoor shows big and small. And looking forward to the funk.
I wonder why so many fun and geeky things are so almost entirely male.
I’m playing free Friday Night Magic right now between rounds and having fun.
I’ve been involved in the New England Pinball League.
It seems like a lot of these lands of geekery are often 90% male and I’m really not sure why.
I know there are a lot of gamers that want to keep these spaces male which I find very sad.
Like being a gamer girl is less than a man. Despite the fact that with computer gaming it’s more than 50% female I find this very sad.
My friend and awesome poet Kirsten Uhde made a great slam poem called “Gamer Girl” and posted it online. And got slammed by so many insecure men.
It’s sad to me that the awkward don’t learn to embrace their awkwardness and just ask people out. You can do it online now. Instead they become wicked creepy and start blaming women on things.
It’s frankly pathetic.
Men deserve better and spaces of fun and silliness should be open to all.
It’s so much better that way. Right now there are two women and around 40 men. It’s entirely insane and to me makes things less fun.
May we find a time where everyone has the right to geek out and like my t-shirt says today be excellent to each other.
I’ve been doing it for years. I bet a lot of gamers have.
Computers make it a lot easier. You have a computerized opponent with some type of in game AI (artificial intelligence, or in this case just programming.)
Computer games can be played with friends but it’s often not required.
Board gaming and card games I think take a different mind to play alone. I played the board game Splendor today by myself four times after putting it in sleeves. Probably good for the cards but they don’t fit in the box as well. Maybe thinner sleeves?
I find playing games with myself helps me understand the strategy and it’s easy for me to be more than one player.
It can be especially useful when you are deckbuilding and want to see how something plays in a game like Magic: The Gathering. One of my highlights yesterday was playing my goblins deck I have been fiddling with against my new standard landfall deck. Hard to tell with three games. I wish there was more cheap burn spells in red with standard right now in MTG. Seems like black has more good spells to neutralize characters.
So looking forward to playing Friday Night Magic again tomorrow and I think I will always enjoy the puzzle that is a good game. Even when just playing with yourself.
We need more therapists like Rick Cormier. Giving, humorous, and always trying to help their patients anyway they can.
I also gave it to my friend who is a new LCSW and a therapist and she was very impressed.
I love how grounded and relatable the stories are. Like the person with two clocks with rotating minutes who had to stop between the first and second clock every minute. Simple solution? Take one clock out of the room. Or using practicing deep breathing and lists to help people with panic attacks. Or that hypnosis can help people with their fears.
I will admit I have bipolar disorder and I haven’t found many therapists or psychiatrists I would like. Some are just their for diagnosis. A lot of therapists fall into the “well what do you think?” trap. I think I would like Rick Cormier.
I did get the chance to beta this and it blew me away then too. I did write an earlier blogpost about it a couple months ago.
And it would be great to live in a world where we could afford therapy too. It’s often a huge expense for those who could use it.
Decided to turn cable news on tonight and saw Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton talk and a lot of fluff.
CNN is clearly pro Hillary Clinton as I am guessing MSNBC is which I don’t have with limited cable. CNN being full of Hillary Clinton people. Fox News is of course an arm of the Republican Party.
I switched to Fox News briefly and Donald Trump is on Hannity.
There is a reason I rarely watch the news channels. The best thing on any of them is Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown” show on CNN.
It’s not close. They could be so, so much better. Often it’s the same story over and over and over again. It’s sad. And with Fox News, I think they have actually moved the Republican Party rightward and made America worse.
Can be big or small.
Heroic or minor.
Trying to kick addiction.
Saying hi to a dog.
Confronting a fear.
The blank page.
Applying to a job or college or program.
Taking the next step.
Being a volunteer.
Listening to the fire inside.
Asking for help.
Finding a teacher.
Asking for rest when you need it.
Finding your own path.
Joy is often fleeting and beautiful.
We can want to have the same joys we had before and even find ourselves miserable.
Today I was spinning poi outside while listening to “Brass Monkey” by the Beastie Boys and having a blast. I did come in due to the rain, but with a smile on my face.
I need to spin more, even if I feel ridiculous in the front yard. There isn’t enough room on the deck with the patio table on in the very small backyard or sunken area with benches.
And it’s okay to look ridiculous. There is joy in that too.