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Dot Mithee, RIP

June 13, 2012 by rurugby 1 Comment

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I grew up with a small family.

Really mostly it was just me, my sister and my parents.

Grandparents, uncles, aunts in California and Texas. I lived in New Jersey.

When I met my wife Lanna in 2003, she had a huge family, and part of the family, if by love if not by blood was Dot Mithee, my mother-in-law Dottie’s best friend who passed away last night June 12th, 2012.

Dot is a huge spirit. Liberal, opinionated, with a loud dog named Max and a sense of adventure. She was Dottie best friend for decades, often having dinner on Sunday night’s together.

She was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and has been getting worse for a long time. On Christmas this year one of my great gifts was to shave her head. Here is the before and the after. The cancer was removing it and she just wanted it gone. It was a wonderful entrusting moment.

I will miss Dot a lot, my wife and mother in law have dinner with her one more time on Friday, and we will all miss her rambuctious spirit. Live life to the fullest, you will be remembered and loved.

We miss you Dot.

Filed Under: grieving, The Blog Tagged With: Dot Mithee, Dottie Maheux, Lanna

A Life Partner

June 11, 2012 by rurugby 1 Comment

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Today would have my in-law’s 46th Wedding Anniversary. As my wife Lanna said in a wonderful post, it’s “A Day for Lilacs” which was always the flower of their anniversary. Beautiful and heartbreaking.

Dottie and Walter’s journey was a glorious one together, and we try to support Dottie as she deal with life without her partner. I am glad we live close by.

It made me think about my life partnership, and my parents.

My parents were married January 2, 1972, which means they had their 40th Anniversary this year. She is lucky to still have him 4 years from the toughest summer of our family’s lives dealing with months in the hospital in the neuro ICU and a diagnosis of brain cancer. Their partnership is a big part of why I am the man I am today. They love each other clearly. The read together, listen to music together, know when to give each other space and when to be together. I am very lucky to have Christine Davis and Henry Davis as my parents.

And of course, I am lucky to have my amazing wife Lanna Lee Maheux. She is beautiful, creative, hilarious and amazing. My partner in every way. I often joke about the “time before Lanna,” and it’s only partly a joke. She centers me, kisses me, hugs me and inspires me to be a better man every day. I love her, and it’s amazing that 10 years ago we didn’t even know each other.

I met her a couple of months after on January 18th. Our first contact was online on January 2nd, 2003 through Spring Street Networks. Her through Bust’s dating site, mine through Nerve’s, I put for profession that I was a dreamer which is very nice way to say unemployed. She put on hers that she was looking for tall and funny, and smart and funny, .. and funny .. and funny. We chatted online, a couple weeks later made a date to meet at the Gershwin Hotel just north of Madison Square in New York City, and less than a year later on January 13th, 2004 we were engaged. A few months after on July 3rd, 2004 we were married and on our adventure together, now with rings.

She completes me, I know she is in pain right now and I am too. I am lucky to find a life partnership may don’t. If it hurts, doesn’t feel right, makes you feel less, makes you feel like you are giving up something, it’s not a life partnership and you should move on. If a partnership makes you feel greater, makes you laugh together, makes you cry together, makes you want to be together forever than it’s special and you are lucky.

My mother-in-law Dottie Maheux was very, very lucky. Now is the tough time to journey in life without a life partner. We love you Dottie, we love Walter and always will.

Edmund

Filed Under: acceptance, grieving, kisses, Lanna, love, No Filter, partnership, poetry, spirit, The Blog, The Ecq Review Tagged With: Christine Davis, Dottie Maheux, Henry Davis, walter maheux

Grieving Comes in Waves

June 10, 2012 by rurugby Leave a Comment

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I miss my father-in-law Walter Maheux a lot. I have sadness in waves.

And feel really, really lucky that I am not in “the club” of people who have lost parents. As I was reminded by my wife Lanna’s beautiful blogpost today.

I came very close 4 years ago now, and so happy my father is still a cancer survivor. Major brain cancer usually takes a life within 12-18 months, and I have 4 years now and my dad is still mainly cancer free. I am lucky.

Grieving is so much a part of the human experience. It’s often how we gain perspective about life. And the memories live on.

And in nature, death bring soil which brings life again.

Walter was a beautiful man and we miss him.

Filed Under: acceptance, grieving, Lanna, spirit, Spirit of Sunday Tagged With: walter maheux

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