Ramblings of an EdMan

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Borrowed Time

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Got sad news today.

My got his driver’s license pulled due to issue with depth perception in one eye. He was driving a car and scraped it on concrete.

I in many way feel I like I have been living on borrowed time for a while.

My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer 4 years ago, the bad one Glioblastoma multiforme (GBM) which usually doesn’t have 4 years, the best case average is 17 months. So when there is a change in something like vision it’s concerning.

He does have a MRI scheduled Monday, and is going back to the University of Pittsburgh to continue the study he has been working on which has been unbelievably successful so far.

So far, I am trying to stay positive and would appreciate any positive thoughts and prayers. Illness is hard for any family. 2012 has been a very trying year, already losing my father in law, the beloved Walter Maheux. I hope this is one speed bump, but I am worried I may need to spend some time in Pennsylvania again.

Keep us in your thoughts.

Thank you.

Edmund

The Wee Small Hours…

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I wrote this on Thursday morning in Lake George, NY while my wife is sleeping. Was told by a herbalist that I should walk first thing (ie before shower) every morning. Trying it for a few days so far and love it.

——————–

The wee small hours of the morning
while the wife is fast asleep.

Walking through an empty town
Lake George, almost awake,
Almost welcoming tourists,
unquestionably gorgeous.

4:30am, sun awakens,
birds awake, most everyone fast asleep.

The empty “Million Dollar Beach”,
with lifeguards and everyone hemmed in little swimming areas.

Lovely paved bike trail, deep in the woods
Deeply quiet, wish I had a bike.

Then back to lie down a few minutes with the
snoring wife and a book.

Reading Hugh Howey’s wonderful and surreal “The Plagarist”,
definitely not what I expected.

And then the drive through town for an awesome, decadent breakfast.
Got a huge breakfast at the Lone Bull with bacon, cinnamon french toast made in house, maple syrup, 2 eggs over easy and rye toast. I loved the atmosphere of the place.

Sometimes it’s good to wake up early.

Heart Centered Meditations

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This week at Rites of Spring, my wife is going to join me in a intensive I took last year that changed my heart and spirit. Whispering Deer’s class on the overflowing heart. I wish I could link to CDs of her wonderful voice, to have us get out our heads and live with our heart. Our heart has energy, it can take so, so much more than our head can.

We pray for ourselves, the ones with us, the camp and the wider world. We pray for compassion, we pray for acceptance of ourselves and the world, we pray for love, we pray for grieving, we pray to learn to medidate, we pray, and we take it all in to our overflowing heart.

It’s an amazing exercise, since we do tend to live our lives in our head, living with the heart makes you look at the world differently. That it helps to love your friends, and ignore your enemies, something I saw again in the wonderful little book “Steal Like an Artist.” It helps you live your life more heart centered. To give prayers for ones in joy, and ones in crisis. It’s something I try to do every day.

One of my practice is heart prayers, which I blogged about back in January. For 2012 I made my goal a “Year of Spirit“, it’s been a challenging year, with the illness and death of a beloved father in law, who we miss terribly.

This makes it even more important to pray with your overflowing heart, and sometimes to listen and take it in. I am excited Lanna will be with me in my workshop this year, and that we continue it as a spiritual practice.

I am also thrilled that Rev. Christine Sillari at First Parish Unitarian Universalist in Portland, Maine, also has a yoga training and can do meditations coming from the heart. They are slower, they require deep breaths and drawing into the self. They are amazing.

If you try to meditate with your head, at least in my experience, you tend to drift through the thoughts and worries of your day.

I plan a follow up post next week on the same topic.

Edmund