Ramblings of an EdMan

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2013: A Year of Acceptance

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I have been putting this blogpost off for a week.

My year goals have been successful the last 2 year.

2011 was the Year of Creativity. I did some improv. I took a writing class. I got involved in slam poetry. Definitely an excellent year for creativity.

2012 was the Year of Spirit, and it ended up being among the most challenging spiritual years of my life unquestionably. But, I was able to help balance myself and help others by being more prayerful. Oddly though, I was better at heart prayers in the beginning of 2012, then at the end. Having my dad be in hospice affects me spiritually so much. It’s much harder to be grounded and prayerful. Without question 2012 was a year of tested spirit.

So for 2013 my year goal is a Year of Acceptance. This means accepting my dad is sick. Understanding when you do have to do things like wipe your father’s butt, that sometimes it is what it is. Just like the fact that I am 10 years out of business school and working in a call center.

Here is the thing though. I would like to be financially more successful, but am very happy. I have an amazing wife, very cool friends, lots of creative outlets, and feel far happier with myself that I did 20 years ago, or 10 years ago.

Would I love to get rid of my student loan debt? Of course, but so would almost everyone else.

But, this will be a year of accepting who I am.

I am odd. I am strange. I am exceptionally unique.

I am a gourmand. A lover of wonderful beer, spirits and food.

I am a geek. I love playing Dominion Online, although I think it’s too addictive for me right now. I was just playing before writing this. I love playing games. I love trivia.

And I am who I am, and that’s all I can be.

I plan this year to keep working on my patience. Keep working on my spirit. Keep working on my uniqueness, and to be all the Edmund I can be.

It should be an interesting year. I know there are many challenges to come, especially with my father’s health.

Blessed be.

Edmund

2012: A Year of Spiritual Challenges

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My goal for 2012 was to have a year of spirit. I had no idea what was to come.

I was feeling more prayerful at the time, with my practice of heart prayers. It helps center and ground me.

Unfortunately, nothing ungrounds you like sickness and tragedy. And it didn’t take long this year. The winter was a time to found out my father in law had been hiding symptoms for a long time. It was only a couple months later that he passed away.

It was a blessing to live close to my in-laws and see the process and help where I could. It was also easily the most spiritual moment of the year to see Walter Maheux pass from the world of the living to the dead.

Lanna was shattered by her father’s death, I was upset and extremely sad.

The spring and summer Lanna was especially sad and introverted. By the late summer we were started to feel like ourselves again. Then my dad’s brain cancer returned in late August.

Our lives felt shattered again. Big tumor in his left thallmus. At first we were told it was inoperable. Then they were able to remove it with the same brain surgeon that did the first tumor removal.

Since then I have been very sad. It’s just shattering.

So my goal for 2013 is to work for a new normal and have a year of acceptance in 2013. Accepting who I am. Accepting that my dad is sick. Accepting my quirks. Developing more patience. A lot that I have been working on, a lot that I am continuing to work on.

But 2012 was a challenging year. And I still feel very spiritual. I don’t however feel as connected to church as I have been. So it goes.

And it’s important sometimes to realize it is what is. And that life is what happens when you make other plans.

Blessed be.

Edmund

Patience

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We all need a little patience.

It’s a rare quality in this day of social media, multitasking, the Internet and now now now.

And I grew up in New Jersey one of the least patient places in America.

And in the past considered myself impatient.

And I am still working to always be more patient, and to look and think before I talk, unless of course I am clowning.

And from a few people I have heard that they think of me as patient. That means a lot. It’s been a journey. It’s been understanding. It’s being able to wait. Waiting is good.

Sometimes patience means sitting in the woods and hearing the wind, the water and seeing the branches blow with the wind.

Patience is look at the area before taking the camera shot. Patience is letting yourself rest before hitting the next golf shot. Patience is letting yourself wait, letting yourself not need, letting yourself have enough.

Patience is when you get agitated, giving little meditations and calming the self. Patience is not rushing, rushing, rushing.

Patience is good. I recommend it, and I think it’s a life journey for me.

May we all be more patient in these hectic times.

Edmund

Beauty, Peace and Content

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The three goals of the Blue Cat of Castle Town.

Beauty is the easiest you just have to look and see and be prepared to see what’s around you and seek beauty.

Of course the more content you are the easier it is to see beauty. Contentment is a hard thing to reach with a world that moves so fast. Advertising tells us to buy, buy, buy. That new and shiny will make us happier. When it is much more being content with what you have.

Peace is something I have been working on with contentment. I have a very active brain that often dwells on things. I grew up in New Jersey which is one of the least contended places in America. Everyone is striving, everyone is trying to do better, get richer, go faster. Well maybe not everyone but there is a lot of Arunah Hydes out there. Seeing the world as a chance for money, power and fame.

Peace is also to me harder with just the car, and the basic noises of modern life. We live with a lot of background noise. Tvs that are on, radios in the car, and all of the noises cars produce and roads. It’s amazing how much easier it is to feel peaceful in the woods away from all those cars, pavement and noise.

Beauty, Peace and Contentment great goals to have.

“The Blue Cat of Castle Town” really needs to go back in print. It is available though for free online and for a dollar on Kindle. Enjoy!

State of Now – Kansas

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So Lanna applied for the State of Now small towns event to be held in Hutchinson, Kansas even though we are 1700 miles away.

She got accepted.

Now we are thinking of taking Amtrak all the way cross country. Is this crazy? Are we nuts?

Although it does seem amazing to see the backyards of America and the beginnings of towns. Most 19th Century towns went around the train, around depots. I expect to see tons of corn, lots of wheat, lots of backyards, lot of town, lots of America.

Wondering if a sleeper car is a good idea or the seats will be fine on the 36 hour journey.

Longest train trip I took was from Chicago to Trenton, NJ which is still wicked far. Although the horseshoe curve is just awesome.

And I realized that Lanna hasn’t seen the corn belt at all, which should be obvious and massive on a trip from Chicago to central Kansas. There is nothing like a train to make you realize how truly massive America is.

To crazy ideas!