I’m reading a novel about someone who left everything while manic “Too Bright to Hear, Too Loud to See” by Juliann Garey. It’s very good and the last chapter I read involved being hospitalized in Kenya. After not sleeping for weeks jabbing his hand with a shrimp fork to stop the buzzing.
I have had major mania but in never went that far.
One major mania I had, and the one that wasn’t hospitalized was in my last MBA class at the Oxford Trade Program.
Geneva was great but when I came back to Oxford it got weird especially at a company visit to Birmingham. I do wish though I took the bus to London with the class. It was in August, 2001 and I planned to travel around Europe after.
That didn’t work out. I was pushed out of Oxford to London which thought was an incredibly strange decision. I should have just been hospitalized in Oxford. It was a far more approachable city than being completely alone at Imperial College in the middle of London.
I bought too much stuff, made some odd decisions, lost some stuff at a hostel, it would have been a good time for a private room. And I missed a flight to Edinburgh.
And I didn’t fly out of Rome in early October, I flew back I think to Los Angeles but maybe Newark. I honestly don’t remember.
I do wish I kept my space in Claremont though. It would have been a great place to transition. It’s one of the best places I have ever lived.
I think the mania went down across the ocean, but I don’t really remember. It was fifteen years ago. I do know I was depressed for a very long time. And I slept a lot the next year and didn’t do much. I think it has affected my career since but who knows.
I will say I am very happy I had no new incidents until my dad died in April, 2013 which was also a huge mania where I was hospitalized and have talked more about on the blog in the past.
I also had a smaller mania in April, 2015 that also involved hospitalization. A small mania in December, 1992, I think looking back. And one after graduating college in December, 1997 that was surreal and involved hospitalization.
Maybe I take less risks because I do have major mania. I am happy though I had structure and was able to heal.