My goal for 2012 was to have a year of spirit. I had no idea what was to come.
I was feeling more prayerful at the time, with my practice of heart prayers. It helps center and ground me.
Unfortunately, nothing ungrounds you like sickness and tragedy. And it didn’t take long this year. The winter was a time to found out my father in law had been hiding symptoms for a long time. It was only a couple months later that he passed away.
It was a blessing to live close to my in-laws and see the process and help where I could. It was also easily the most spiritual moment of the year to see Walter Maheux pass from the world of the living to the dead.
Lanna was shattered by her father’s death, I was upset and extremely sad.
The spring and summer Lanna was especially sad and introverted. By the late summer we were started to feel like ourselves again. Then my dad’s brain cancer returned in late August.
Our lives felt shattered again. Big tumor in his left thallmus. At first we were told it was inoperable. Then they were able to remove it with the same brain surgeon that did the first tumor removal.
Since then I have been very sad. It’s just shattering.
So my goal for 2013 is to work for a new normal and have a year of acceptance in 2013. Accepting who I am. Accepting that my dad is sick. Accepting my quirks. Developing more patience. A lot that I have been working on, a lot that I am continuing to work on.
But 2012 was a challenging year. And I still feel very spiritual. I don’t however feel as connected to church as I have been. So it goes.
And it’s important sometimes to realize it is what is. And that life is what happens when you make other plans.